What Women Really Want on Valentine’s Day
It is that time of the year when Hallmark informs us that it is time to celebrate love. Of course, love should always be celebrated but sometimes we need a reminder and an extra spotlight shining down on the things that truly matter.
If you have a special someone in your life, how do you celebrate Valentine's Day and the month of love? There is a default that many men have become accustomed to…flowers, chocolates, and a card. Going up a notch, maybe a spa excursion for two and reservations at a fancy restaurant. That is all wonderful and I’m sure that any amount of sentiment will be greatly appreciated by your beloved. But what if what your woman truly wants cannot be bought at a store or wrapped in a pretty box? Women definitely love gifts but what if, this year, you could give her what she actually wants and needs?
Here are 5 things that women truly want when it comes to the expression of love:
To be Seen and heard:
When was the last time you actually looked deeply into the eyes of the woman you love and told her how beautiful she is?
More than anything, what a woman wants is to be seen and heard. Life can move so quickly these days. Instead of looking up at the world around us, we are often looking down at our phones or getting caught up in our heads. By being more conscious and actually stopping to observe your partner with your full awareness you are allowing them to feel seen. By listening with your full attention you are allowing them to feel heard. And more than just hearing your partner, try relating to their experience. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand the world through their perspective. It is not that your woman wants to be right, but she just wants to feel seen and heard. She wants to know that you understand and can compassionately empathize with her experience.
Try using phrases like, “I understand” “I see you” “I hear you” to give her the love she needs to feel safe and held by you.
2. To be Appreciated:
When was the last time you told the woman you loved how much you appreciate her?
Often times we can get so overwhelmed with how much we are doing and contributing that we can forget how much our partner does. Remember that partnership is teamwork and together two pillars can hold up more than one. But the more we are recognized for the work we do, the more we have desire to contribute more. So next time you notice something that your woman has done for you, for the household, for the family, let her know.
Try using phrases like, “I see how much you are doing and I appreciate you” “I am so grateful for everything that you are doing” “I noticed that you took care of [so-and-so]. Thank you so much!” to show her how much you appreciate her contribution.
3. Time and Attention:
When was the last time you dedicated your full time and attention to the woman you love?
More than gifts or treats, what most women truly want is your time and attention. This looks like, putting your phone away, clearing away all distractions (work, finances, past, future), freeing up your schedule and just being fully available for her. You can give her your full attention during a date night you planned or simply on the couch together for a deep discussion with a glass of wine. Most importantly, let her know that she has your full attention and that nothing is more important than her in this moment.
Try using phrases like, “You have my full attention” “I have cleared my entire schedule just for you” “Nothing is more important to me in this moment than you” to let her know that you are holding space just for her.
4. Seeing action:
When was the last time you told her you were going to do something and then actually followed through?
What turns a woman on more than anything is feeling like she can trust her partner. Every time a man says he is going to do something or plan something and then doesn’t, a little block around trust is created. But every time you make a promise and keep it, the bridge of trust becomes stronger and stronger. And the more a woman can trust you, the more she can open up to you, mentally, spiritually and sexually. So listen carefully to what she might be unconsciously asking for, tell her what you plan to do, and then do it!
Try using phrases like, “I noticed you’ve been having trouble with that shelf, I am going to fix that for you.” “You know that restaurant you’ve been wanting to try? I am going to make reservations for us” “Remember that place we always wanted to visit? I am going to book us a trip next month” to prime her for the actions you will be taking.
5. Knowing that you care:
When was the last time you really stated how important your woman is to you?
It sounds like something that should be implied and something that your woman should know, but it is something that women can never get enough of. And the more you can tell her, the better! So remind her as often as you can. When you first wake up in the morning, before you go to bed, after she has made an amazing meal. Just remind her how much she is cared for and how much you love her. You can take this a step further by planning special times when you can fully pamper her and spoil her with your love. *Pro tip: Learn some Tantric techniques from a professional and then spend a couple of hours creating a Karma Sutra massage experience that she will never forget!
Try using phrases like: “I am so lucky to wake up next to such a beautiful woman that I love with all of my heart” “Going to bed next to the woman I love is such a gift” “I just love you” to remind her how much she is cared for and what an amazing partner you are.
So whatever plans you have this Valentine’s Day, remember these 5 tips to keep your woman fulfilled and full of love. Because when she is feeling seen, heard, appreciated, held, cared for, and loved she will open up in ways you could never imagine. And remember that sharing love is receiving love!
